If we're asking how it looks to fight dirty in a relationship, our natural next question is – well, how does it look to fight right?

None of us were taught how to have a healthy relationship, and definitely definitely not how to “fight right.”

Healthy conflict is about more than just resolving disagreements; it's about fostering understanding, empathy, and connection.

Let's explore that together.

When we feel pain, a lot of us blame the stress around us. We think a new friend group or a fresh start in a different city will fix everything….

But here’s the thing: the stress isn’t just out there, it’s inside us. We carry it with us no matter where we go.

Changing your environment might give temporary relief, but it’s like putting a band-aid on a deeper wound. Your patterns— the fears you avoid and the ways you cope —will keep generating stress until you face them.

It’s not easy to look within and address those fears, but that’s where true freedom lies. Own your pain, confront those fears, and break the cycle. Otherwise, you can keep running, but the stress will keep following.

Most of us follow a sex script. What does that mean?
It means we get in our head…
Sex can bring up so much, and sometimes we get the urge to perform a certain way…

We feel that there’s a way that we should be moving,
there are things that we should like, there’s a way that we should sound …

So what would it look like if we were to approach sex the same way that we approach something that brings us playfulness? Somewhere we refill free, free to explore, to be present, and to connect to whatever it is around us without having to overthink?
Without having to “perform” in any certain way? 🌸

YEAH, the world gives us a pretty unhealthy view of relationships.
Throughout our lives, we deeply internalize these beliefs, and they affect how we show up with every single one of our partners.
Let’s look at some of the beliefs we may have learned:

When reading through these, ask yourself:
Does this limit me? Do I like believing this?

How much curiosity do I practice in my relationships?

Part of staying curious is accepting that there is uncertainty, and that there is much more left to learn. In couples therapy, we develop curiosity as one of our bigger tools.

Here are a few tips and reminders of how to practice curiosity.
Enjoy the exploration ~