The beliefs that ruin our relationships.
YEAH, the world gives us a pretty unhealthy view of relationships.
Throughout our lives, we deeply internalize these beliefs, and they affect how we show up with every single one of our partners. In couples therapy and individual therapy, we focus on understanding the beliefs you internalized long ago and the impact they still have on you today.
Let’s look at some of the beliefs we may have learned:
TIP: When reading through these, ask yourself:
Does this limit me? Do I like believing this?
My partner should know what I want and need, I shouldn't have to ask.
If my partner truly loved me, they wouldn't be attracted to other people.
We should never have conflict. Conflict is bad, and it means we are unhealthy and doomed...
A relationship is what will make me happy.
I need to be the most ____ (successful, attractive, smart...)
I can't fully trust them and let go completely. If I do, I'll get hurt.
The beliefs we absorb about relationships can act like invisible scripts, guiding our thoughts and behaviors without us even realizing it. Over time, these scripts shape our expectations and reactions, often leading to disappointment and frustration. But the beauty of therapy is that we can unearth these beliefs and challenge them, replacing them with healthier, more empowering truths.
It's not about blame or shame—it's about gaining awareness and reclaiming the narrative of your relationships. By doing this inner work, you’re not only healing yourself but also transforming how you connect with your partner.
If you see that you have self work to do and are ready to reframe what healthy relationships look like, reach out to me, and we can do the work together.
